Creative Kindergartening

In August my two little pollywogs started kindergarten. At that time I was concerned that their first foray into academia would be less than an over-the-moon experience. Well, I am here to tell you that they are doing fine with the academics; the Three R’s—reading, writing, and arithmetic—have posed few, if any, problems so far. However, behaving is taking its toll.

Bryan loves to talk better than breathe, so I can understand why he doesn’t always hear his teacher. At some point, she probably mentioned that he should not put an empty Capri Sun pouch on his head in the lunchroom or roll rocks down the slide at recess. If not, he clearly knows now.

And although I appreciate his love of science, Bryan really can’t use “it was a science experiment” to explain away flushing the toilet 10-15 times to see how long it takes to overflow. Seizing this as a teachable moment, I pointed out that, had the toilet actually overflowed, he would have spent the rest of the day squishing around in socks and shoes soaked in pee water. I also advised him to never go to the bathroom with Riley, the tattletale.

Later that same day, Bryan found a broken rubber band on the floor and stuck it up his nose. It tickled. After digging the rubber band out of his nostril, he put it in a girl’s hair and told her that it was a spider. His teacher was not amused.
Still unconvinced that behaving was in his best interest, he began saying (according to him, of course), “Dan, dan, dan.” Two girls—one of whom was the recipient of the rubber band—told the teacher that he was saying, “Damn, damn, damn.” Again, his teacher was not amused.

Tyler hasn’t done any better. He skipped school to go with us on the Disney Cruise and was named Student of the Month while he was gone. We congratulated him on a job well done and hoped some of it would rub off on the rubber band man. About a week after he got back to school (Hickory Grove Baptist Church school), Tyler was honored during chapel. He cracked the very next day.

I don’t know why it is but most little boys simply can’t be good for very long. Tyler whacked two boys on the playground, was given a good talking to by his teacher, and whacked the boys again. When the teacher set him down for round two, he told her that he wished he had his bug sucker, because he would suck the breath out of her. Oh, brother. That wasn’t exactly a Christian response.

As of late the little boys are on the straight and narrow. Once Christmas is over, and the Naughty or Nice List is a distant memory, things may get back to normal. In the meantime, it’s a good thing they’re cute.