Moon Over the Caribbean

It all started where stories of this ilk always start—with the Mouse. Several years ago, when pollywogs Bryan and Tyler were two years old, Tim built Mickey Mouse measuring sticks for them with the promise that, when they were tall enough for the rides, we would take them to Disney World. By the age of four, the little boys had reached the age of maturity; unfortunately, Tim and I had passed the age of enough energy required to endure long lines and concrete at the home of the Mouse and his minions. So a cruise it was.

The next year pollywog Anna Lauren was potty trained with the promise of tagging along with her cousins. Three weeks before we were to set sail Tim fell off a ladder, breaking several body parts. With help from our daughter Rachel and sister-in-law Shelley, we propped him up in a wheelchair and didn’t miss a beat. How in the world did the pollywogs’ annual four-night Disney birthday cruise morph into an eight-night extravaganza for nineteen?

This year the word was out. Kids and adults were having far too much fun, and the entire family wanted to get in on the action. Our kids—Jeremy, Jennifer, and Anna Lauren, Evan, Krissy, and Keegan, Rachel, BJ, Tyler and Wynn— along with my brother Ted, sister-in-law Shelley, nephew Bryan, and Tim’s sister Debbie, her husband Rick, and their granddaughters Jamie and Alyssa ponied up. So what happens when nineteen members of the same family go on a cruise together?

We swooped in from Atlanta, Huntsville, and Charlotte the day before the cruise and checked in at The Residence Inn across from the port to recoup from travel trauma. ATL always provides some type of anxiety. The kids swam while the rest of us visited with Uncle Bud and Aunt Carol who live nearby.

The next morning the Richmond group arrived, and everyone scurried to catch the shuttle to the port. The kids had their mouse ears, prince, princess, and pirate costumes, and autograph books; the adults had their credit cards; and Tim had Mickey painted on his toes.

Rachel, usually unconcerned about being on time, quickly rounded up her family at daybreak and marched them out of the hotel door. They arrived at the terminal with the cleaners and check-in crew and were dutifully named “First Family”, a special recognition that included access to a handler, the characters, and the lunch buffet. They reveled in the glory of their “First Family” status for the remainder of the day and reminded us at every opportunity.

After lunch we descended upon our staterooms like a swarm of bees. We were on a mission—get those doors decorated with hundreds of specially designed magnets otherwise how would we be able to tell who was in which room?

Thanks to six-month old Wynn, we were excused from the mandatory boat drill ahead of the crowd and ran for the pool. It was almost time for the sail away party, and I didn’t want to miss showing Shelley the improvement in my “YMCA” hand gestures. By 4 p.m., the Disney Magic was at sea, and our little party of nineteen was eagerly highlighting activities in the Navigator. Port of call adventures, new cruising experiences, shopping, and celebrating would be the real highlights of our trip.

Key West was our first port of call. Rachel, BJ, Evan, and Krissy needed a little “me” time and went snorkeling. The rest of us walked from the ship, past the statues of well-endowed naked ladies to the hop-on, hop-off Conch Train. All of the boys (young and old) took notice of the ladies, and a couple of them, who shall remain nameless, returned for pictures.

Finding excursions for seven young children, ranging in ages from six months to 10 years, can be quite challenging. For some reason, I thought the train would be a good idea. Probably because kids rode free. I lasted for half the Conch Train ride. At the first stop, I announced that I was headed to the ice cream machine on the ship. Tim (no surprise there since ice cream was involved) and all seven of the kids—none of whom gave a flip about bougainvillea—decided that ice cream was more appealing than riding around sweltering Key West. Jeremy and Jennifer stayed ashore for Cuban sandwiches, and Ted, Shelley, Rick and Deb found a table with beer and nachos at Sloppy Joe’s.

At Grand Cayman, Jeremy and Jennifer swam with the dolphins; Rachel did laundry; and the rest of us tried to keep from walking the plank on a pirate ship. The pirates were friendly enough, especially after a couple of glasses of rum punch. The kids had to scrub the deck with toothbrushes which, of course, satisfied the adults almost as much as the rum punch.

We walked past Margaritaville on our way to the pirate ship and thought for sure it would be 5 o’clock somewhere by the time we returned. Jeremy and Jennifer were already there, and Jennifer was perched in one of those window-style balconies. She looked a little like she was up to something; after all, she has visited Amsterdam and New Orleans.

After lunch, the kids found the pool in the restaurant’s courtyard. Only a couple of other kids were there, so we moved into a cabana. The warden of the slide determined that Anna Lauren (3) and Alyssa (4) could slide if one of us waited in the pool to catch them. Shelley and I took turns until she heard the slide calling her name. Before the afternoon was over, that slide called her name about fifty times. For some inexplicable reason, Ted also heard the siren song. The water displacement wasn’t too bad.

Cozumel was…let’s just say it was interesting. Rachel, BJ, Jeremy, and Jennifer paid good money to drive dune buggies through the mud and crawl through bat caves. Like most children, they loved getting dirty. Personally, I’m not fond of an excursion that leaves me picking dirt balls out of my nostrils; but thankfully, they managed to rinse off most of the bat guano before dinner.

I found Chankanaab Park thanks to Google and bought tickets for five adults and five children for a dolphin encounter. Krissy and Wynn went along for the fun but couldn’t get in with the dolphins. She was pregnant, and he was too short. Our dolphin, Foxy, knew her stuff. We took turns kissing her on the lips (well, everyone but Tyler who wasn’t about to pucker up to a dolphin), dancing, rubbing her belly, and watching her jump. Although Tim, Evan, and I had been swimming with dolphins before, it was still an amazing adventure.

Ted, Shelley, and Bryan went to the more-expensive-but-also-more-thrilling-dolphin-time Dolphinaris. Remember, you get what you pay for. Shelley and Bryan did their dolphin swim without a hitch, and then it was Ted’s turn to ride. He held onto the fins as the dolphin took off. Unfortunately for Ted, his swimsuit did likewise. My brother, ever the quick thinker, turned his toes out just in the nick of time, managing to hang on to his suit while losing his dignity. I really wish Shelley had given her email address to one of the throng of onlookers who were snapping pictures.

One final word about Cozumel. Our group traveled in two vans to the park. Arriving went fine; both vans pulled up at the same place at the same time. Returning was a different story. Unbeknownst to any of us, the drivers let us out at two different locations. About 1 ½ hours later, we figured it out.

Seven night cruises offer a few more activities than shorter cruises. For example, the character breakfast at 8 a.m. is designed to give the children yet another opportunity to see Goofy and gang. John and Supatcha, our waiters/origami experts, made napkin hats for everyone. We looked ridiculous, the intention I feel certain. Ted’s napkin hat dangled beer tankards around his earlobes. It didn’t make up for missing his moon over the Caribbean, but it was still a sight to behold!

Tea with Alice is available on seven nighters but tickets are limited. Not to worry! Rachel wrangled tickets for the women and children while serving as the matriarch of the “First Family.” Keegan volunteered to be the White Rabbit and sat at the head table with the Mad Hatter and Alice. After the show, we were in the last “get your pictures with the Hatter and Alice” group until we learned that the White Rabbit’s family could go first. I don’t think they expected Keegan’s family to consist of six crazy women and seven children.

Another feature of a longer cruise is more formal nights. Everyone loves to trade in their swimsuits and flip flops for uncomfortable clothes and shoes. Speaking of shoes, Debbie poured her Coke in her shoes on formal night. Guess they hurt her feet.

Then there was shopping. Disney toys, t-shirts, pins, purses, watches, Goofy hats…the kids wanted it all. And the adults weren’t far behind. Debbie discovered those island-style dresses that hang from the shoulders or the bosom and hardly ever touch any other body parts. She shopped her way through every port looking for comfort. She also made a dent in the onboard shop. Among other things, she found a white baseball cap emblazoned with a pink “D” and tried to convince everyone that the “D” really stood for Debbie which was the reason she simply had to have it. In Cozumel, she couldn’t resist posing for a photo holding an iguana in her arms while a parrot perched on her new hat. While Rick paid the guy $5 for the privilege and the photo, the parrot peed on Debbie’s new hat.

For all nineteen of us, every day was a celebration of something. Tim gave the kids flags to add to their flag stands when they went to a new country. One night, birthday cakes and a chorus of Happy Birthday to You from the international wait staff reminded the kids that the cruise was a birthday gift. We also celebrated next year’s arrival of a new pollywog. A couple of days before they left home, Evan and Krissy learned that they would be having a boy in March. Krissy was a good sport and obsessed about her weight gain only when her fingers and toes began to resemble sausages.

Far too soon the week was over, and it was time to leave the magical floating kingdom. What happens when nineteen members of the same family go on a cruise together? Now you know.